November 29th, 2010 by admin
I just finished watching Gamer. Starred Gerard “300″ Butler and Michael C. “Dexter” Hall. Lots of explosions, a dance sequence, and lots of grunting and punching and what not. Plus a big fat guy who touched himself quite a bit. From that description, I know the movie sounds amazing. Unfortunately, none of it was done very well. There was some fun fights, but not enough to ignore the completely asinine plot.
So, we’re now oh for three.
But, I have decided that a binary opinion of movie is kind of lazy. Instead, all movies should be compared to all other movies. So, going from best to worst, I have:
Up Next… Ballistics: Ecks vs. Sever … what could possibly go wrong?
November 26th, 2010 by admin
A year or two ago, I subscribed to Blockbuster Online. I didn’t have a really good reason to do it, but probably because I love being different. But, for awhile, it was pretty convienent. I got 3 movies at a time, plus I could trade in at the local Blockbuster and immediately get another three movies. At my prime, I could go through nine movies a month.
But, then I got lazy. The closest Blockbuster closed. Redboxes started opening up allover the place, and my little portable DVD player died. So, for the last six months or so I have been paying Blockbuster for no good reason.
So, I took the plunge, and I jumped ship to Netflix. That night, I rated 1015 movies Today, I watched two random movies on Instant Watch.
First, there was Croupier. Clive Owen with a bunch of other people. It was really dull. No one seemed to care about the movie, it was just incredibly detached and unmemorable. In fact, this is the second time I have seen this movie. After every scene I said to myself, “This must have been when I stopped watching” since I had no memory of what would happen next. I really hope I don’t forget this movie, and watch it again.
I decided it was time to change gears, so next I watched The Gene Generation. Ling Bai and a bunch of people in a futuristic thriller action adventure. In many ways the opposite of Croupier. Lots of things happened. The acting was atrocious. Nothing made any sense. But it tried, it tried so very hard… It tried to have character development, but only in the most childish predictable way. It tried to create an interesting post-apocalyptic world, but only in a “Hey, I have watched Blade Runner, Lord of the Rings, and some Gieger art… I’m sure it’ll be awesome if I mashed it together with some Firefly.” It tried to have exciting action sequences, but didn’t really understand the whole concept of “choreography.”
So, right now I’m pretty much oh for two.